


all the battles that I’ve won, they don’t matter now you’re gone

by yegelsecaller



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Force Bond, Force Bond Shenanigans, Force dreams, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Mutual Masturbation, NaNoWriMo, Post-TLJ, Reylo - Freeform, Smut, The Rise of Skywalker - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-25 21:20:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21362845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yegelsecaller/pseuds/yegelsecaller
Summary: "For a moment, neither of them moved or spoke. But after a few seconds, Kylo swore he heard Rey mutter, “Oh, kriff it.”Now the sensations being projected through the bond were accompanied by images, images of him. Kylo’s breath caught in his throat as he realized Rey wanted him to see what she was thinking."***In which the Force bond continues to connect Rey and Kylo Ren at inopportune times.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 15
Kudos: 199





	1. Chapter 1

> “I said, "I'm done with you"  
"But I can't help it when I lay down, still think of you.  
Keeps me awake at night, and why do I let it get so far?  
How did we end with broken hearts?  
Was it really worth it?  
Caught in the moment while we burn it down.  
No one's perfect.  
Try to connect and we turn it 'round.”

As the door of the _Falcon _hissed shut, Rey felt her breath catch in the back of her throat. Every part of her had wanted to let the bond snap together she had become so used to it doing, and it had taken every ounce of her resolve to push him out. She had been _so sure_ he would turn, so sure that when the moment came, he would join her and the Resistance to overthrow the First Order. As they had fought together to defeat the Praetorian guards, that sense of certainty had only grown. They had fought as two limbs of one body, perfectly in sync and deadly in their precision. But after the last guard had fallen, Kylo had broken her heart by asking her to throw away everything she stood for.

Turning away from the door, Rey moved to join Finn, but stopped when she realized he was intent on tending to Rose. Instead, Rey sat alone on the floor of the _Falcon_ and feigned inspecting the ruined lightsaber in her hands. Seeing Rose and Finn together had triggered a sharp pang in her chest that had nothing to do with the recent battle. The deep twinge she felt to her core rose from a much deeper place, a place she had visited since she was a lone child on Jakku. It came from a place of loneliness that ached to belong, and despite being surrounded by like-minded people, Rey felt more alone than she ever had.

***

As the months passed by, Rey continued to disrupt the bond each time it attempted to join she and Kylo across the stars. The Resistance was in the process of setting up a new base on Batuu, and she simply couldn’t risk Kylo Ren finding them yet again. She passed her days in service to the Resistance, training with staff and saber with Finn, practicing piloting drills with Poe, and discussing strategy with Leia. After the life she had led, it should have been enough. Those left in the Resistance looked to her as a beacon of hope, a _hero_ to be looked up to. They all thought they knew her – and maybe they did know the person she let them see. While she had developed friendships with other Resistance fighters, she had yet to meet a person who could see past the façade and know that underneath it all, she was still aching to find her place in it all.

Try as she might, she couldn’t seem to push the memory of she and Kylo touching hands and fighting in such beautiful synchronicity from her mind. Despite what Snoke had revealed regarding the origin of the bond, Rey couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ believe that he had been able to influence the vision she’d seen. She had seen a vision of their shared future, a vision that had been _clear _and _solid._ She’d seen him turn against the First Order and stand with her to defend against the greater threat. But it was more than just a vision of their shared future that haunted Rey’s thoughts. Rey couldn’t shake the ache between her thighs that shot straight to her core every time he crept into her thoughts.

***

Kylo grunted as his fist connected with the durasteel armour of the first training droid. While he could have trained with his saber, there was something about fighting with his own hands and feet that felt instinctual to him. Rey had been shutting him out from the bond for _months, _and although he saw brief glimpses of her daily life when her guard was down, he still had no idea where she or the Resistance had settled. As a result, meetings with Hux and his council had frequently ended in arguments and Kylo storming out of the room in frustration. Today had been another such day, and engaging with the training droids was exactly what he needed to take his mind of the _mundanity _of yet another day without locating the Resistance.

As he turned to meet the second droid, he felt the bond shimmer to life, but for once paid it no heed. It had been _weeks _since he’d had a good training session with the three battle droids he kept for the task, and he was _so close _to finally defeating all three of them in under five minutes. As his foot took the second droid in the stomach, he saw the third droid closing in on him from behind, and wasted no time in turning to disable it.

***

Rey couldn’t help but watch as Kylo engaged with the three droids. When he fought without his saber, he moved as though he was part of a cantina brawl, and she clenched her toes at the sight of the sheer _power _emanating from him. Despite being outnumbered three to one, he took each of their blows with an almost casual ease, disabling the third droid with a swift jab to the durasteel jaw as it attempted to attack from behind. As the number of droids dwindled to two, it became obvious that he had programmed them to work as a unit, increasing the difficulty of the training exercise. Rey _itched _to join him. It had been months since she’d had an opponent who truly matched her in skill. She thought back to their battle on Starkiller Base, when she had first been testing her powers. Oh, how she craved a sparring match with him now that she was practiced with the Force. As he spun with an animalistic grace, she found herself walking towards him, and before she could stop herself, she found herself engaging with the second droid. A brief jolt of surprise projected through the bond, but Kylo turned back to the first droid, and suddenly they were both back in the throne room, working as a unit to dispatch their enemies.

As they each worked to disable their own droid, they spun around each other with unmatched grace, sending brief flashes of their next move to each other so they could move in unison. They had each dispatched their droids in short order, and they turned to each other, breathing heavily.

Suddenly, Rey realized what she had done. She had let her feelings about Kylo Ren endanger the Resistance by opening herself to him, and without a word, she _slammed _the bond shut before he could see anything that might jeopardize the new Resistance base. She stood still, continuing to breathe heavily from the effort of battling with the droids. How had she let herself _do _that? Fuming, she turned on her heel and made her way to her own training area, hoping to sweat out the frustration that had been building over the past months.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Suddenly the bond roared to life. Kylo was so taken aback that he stumbled forward to rest with his arm on the wall. Over the months of sharing the bond, he’d become so used to it that he often failed to notice it coalescing if he was as distracted as he was now. But this time, something was different. The bond felt like a livewire connecting them in a way that it hadn’t since they’d first touched hands so long ago."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help myself - two chapter postings in one day, because y'all deserve the instant smut gratification.

Kylo stormed to his room, his latest argument with Hux still thrumming in his mind. He slammed his hand onto the access panel on his door, the action no longer startling the troopers assigned to guard his quarters. As the door hissed shut behind him, he tossed his saber onto his bed and breathed an angry sigh of frustration. How could control of a routine command meeting have slipped from his grasp yet _again?_ That ginger-haired little –

Suddenly the bond _roared_ to life. Kylo was so taken aback that he stumbled forward to rest with his arm on the wall. Over the months of sharing the bond, he’d become so used to it that he often failed to notice it coalescing if he was as distracted as he was now. But this time, something was different. The bond felt like a livewire connecting them in a way that it hadn’t since they’d first touched hands so long ago. As he fought to catch his breath, Rey’s quarters came into full view, and what Kylo saw knocked the breath out of him as surely as a well-placed blow from a staff weapon.

Rey was _touching _herself.

His immediate reaction was one of hurt and jealousy. Though they had never rekindled the flame that had burned between them before she’d turned away from his offer to rule the galaxy with him, they had managed to coexist somewhat amicably as bond mates in the year that had passed since then. While he knew the he had no claim over her or her affections, he had somehow managed to convince himself that the bond existed because of the unspoken feelings they had once had for one another. He’d thought that when she had joined his sparring session earlier this week, something had changed. But apparently, her affections lay elsewhere.

As his face burned with frustration at having such a visceral reaction, Rey suddenly started to cry out as her breath came faster.

“Kylo. Ben, _please.”_

If Kylo’s heart had stopped before, hearing Rey utter his name in such an intimate setting brought the blood roaring back into his veins. Fascinated, he watched as she moved her fingers under her trousers, her breath hitching as she continued to chant his name. He knew that watching was an invasion of her privacy, but as sensations began to seep through the bond, he felt himself hardening in response. As Rey continued to unconsciously send emotions and sensations through the bond, Kylo began to project his own feelings through the bond, and suddenly, Rey looked up and locked eyes with him.

For a moment, neither of them moved or spoke. But after a few seconds, Kylo _swore _he heard Rey mutter, “Oh, _kriff _it_,”_ before returning to her ministrations. Now the sensations being projected through the bond were accompanied by images, images of _him _with his hand between her legs drawing out those soft mewling sounds. Kylo’s breath caught in his throat as he realized Rey _wanted _him to see what she was thinking.

Unable to stop himself, he reached beneath his waistband and took himself in hand. As the sensation of him doing so projected through the bond to Rey, she looked up at him and nodded. Taking her nod as the consent he needed, he began to move his hand on his cock, already feeling close to finishing.

As they both neared their peak, their breathing hard and ragged, Rey arched her back and cried out and Kylo felt a rush of pleasure pulse through the bond as she came, moaning his name as she did. The wave of pleasure crashing through the bond was enough to bring him to his own peak, and he found himself groaning her name in return as he came harder than he ever had before. He opened his eyes to find Rey staring at him, mouth slightly parted and a thin gleam of perspiration shining on her brow. She held his gaze, almost in challenge as they both came down from their high. Had that really just happened? As he opened his mouth to speak, he felt the bond begin to fade and before he could say anything, he was left alone feeling spent and with more questions than he had ever had regarding their relationship.

*******

“Are you going to say anything?

Kylo had been walking back to his quarters from yet another meeting with Hux and the commanders gone awry when Rey’s abrupt query forced Kylo back into the present. For a moment, he didn’t know how to respond. How was he _supposed _to respond, after what had happened the last time the Force had connected them.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he replied gruffly. “The bond connected us, and when I saw you…having some time to yourself…I assumed that you had found someone among the Rebels. I was going to leave until I heard you say my name.”

Rey’s glare hardened. “And why haven’t you decided to make your presence known every other time the bond connected us? The commissary? While I was undressing? The dreams?  
  
Kylo narrowed his eyes. “I could ask the same of you. I know you’ve seen me too Why didn’t _you _say anything?”

“I assumed that you wanted nothing to do with me after you tried to _kill_ me on Crait.”

Kylo’s heart nearly stopped at the memory. “I didn’t know it was you in the Falcon. If I’d known, I never would have…” He trailed off. “It doesn’t matter. You left. You forced the bond shut. I never engaged because I assumed that you had thrown your lot in with the Resistance for good.”

Rey’s glare softened as her breathing began to normalize. “Don’t you see, Kylo? I never wanted to choose sides. But you asking me to rule the galaxy with you forced my hand.

Before he could explain that he had never wanted her to choose sides in the way she thought he had, the bond fizzled out, and he was left once again wishing they had more time together.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Everyone here thinks they know me. They don’t. No one here knows me.”
> 
> Ben reached up to cup her face with his large hand. “But I do.”
> 
> Rey’s lips curled into a small smile, her eyes suddenly taking on a cast of determination. “And I know you. No one else can claim the same. Can they?”
> 
> “No,” Kylo breathed. “They can’t.”

As Kylo stood in the ‘fresher, steam rising around him as the grime of the day washed away, he tried to understand the changes that had transpired between himself and Rey over the past few days. When he had interrupted her pleasuring herself only to her crying his name as she did so, he had thought that there was a chance that she shared his feelings. But after the tongue-lashing she had given him after the Force had connected them yesterday, he was more confused than ever.

He shook his head as he lathered shampoo into his dark hair. Rivulets of soapy water trailed their way down his chiseled abdomen, and he almost didn’t hear the sharp intake of breath above the sound of the water rushing down from the ceiling. Wiping the water from his eyes, he looked up to find Rey in a similar state to his own, unsuccessfully attempting to shield herself from his gaze. When she realized her attempts to cover herself were in vain, she let her hands drop to her sides, and raised her chin in stubborn defiance.

“I don’t know why the Force has chosen now to connect us at such…inopportune moments…but I assure you, I have no control over it.”

  
Kylo wasn’t sure why he felt the urge to explain this to her, but as he did, she dropped her chin somewhat, still looking poised to attack him at any moment. She lowered her eyes and made no attempt to hide the fact that she was eyeing him up. “I think we’ve been sharing dreams. That’s never happened before.”

He thought back to the dream he had last night, a dream of Rey squirming beneath him as he thrust into her, and his ears reddened. “I don’t know what you mean about the dreams. But it _has_ been connecting us more frequently. It makes sense that it would eventually connect us at times we would prefer it didn’t.”

Rey took a breath and stepped up to him, rivulets of water trickling between her breasts. “I don’t think that’s the reason. I think that somehow, we’re projecting our own…_desires_…through the bond, and that’s causing it to connect us. What were you thinking about before the bond joined us this time?”

Kylo reddened even further, and before he could respond, she reached up and touched his chest. “Exactly. It’s connecting us because of what we both want. Because for better or worse, we can’t stop thinking about one another.” Kylo’s breath caught in his throat as her left hand rose to join her right on his chest. “Ben, what do you want?”

_Surely I must be dreaming_, Kylo thought. _Irilla must have hit me harder in training than I thought._

“You’re not dreaming. Ben, I’m asking you want you want. I’m sick of pretending that I don’t want this. Everyone here thinks they know me. They don’t. No one here knows me.”

Ben reached up to cup her face with his large hand. “But I do.”

  
Rey’s lips curled into a small smile, her eyes suddenly taking on a cast of determination. “And I know you. No one else can claim the same. Can they?”

“No,” Kylo breathed. “They can’t.”

Taking that as all the affirmation she needed, Rey pushed her wet body towards Kylo’s, leaning up on her toes to kiss him. Her lips were all honey and fire and he felt an almighty _need _pulse through the bond as she nibbled his lower lip. Raising his arms to envelop her, he pulled her closer to him as the kiss deepened, frantic and messy and _oh so good. _

Rey’s right arm began to trail its way down his body, tracing each muscle as though he were a statue carved from marble. As she neared his cock, she moved her hand slower, teasing him. Without warning, Rey removed her hand from his cock and got down on her knees. The steam of the fresher swirled in clouds around her and Kylo thought he had never seen her look more beautiful. “Rey, you don’t have to.” Despite what others may think, Kylo had never seen the appeal of having others degrade themselves in front of him.

Rey let out a low huff. “But I want to. Don’t you want me to?” And before he could say anything else, she raised her lips to the head of his cock and took him in her mouth. It was all Kylo could do to keep himself upright, and as she took more of him into her mouth, he swore he felt like he might black out. She alternated teasing the head of his cock with her tongue and taking almost the entire massive length of him in her throat. The sight of Rey, _Rey of Jakku_, on her knees for him was _intoxicating_. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined she would get on her knees for him. The sheer thought of it was enough to bring him almost to his peak.

“Rey, I’m going to come,” he managed to pant. She looked up at him and he _swore _he could see a smirk in those eyes. Instead of letting him go and finishing him with her hands, she took him as far into her throat as she could and sucked as he came.

Still panting from his crashing orgasm, Kylo kissed Rey sloppily as he spun her to face the wall of the shower. With one hand at her breast and one at her centre, he began to massage slowly. “Ben, yes, _more, please.” _She projected an image to him through the bond of him moving his hand slightly lower, and he immediately complied. He was rewarded by a sudden cry from Rey. “Yes, Ben, _just like that.”_ As he continued to work at her clit with one hand and her nipple with the other, he felt her pleasure pulse through the bond. Feeling her slickness even through the water of the ‘fresher, he slowly dipped one finger inside her. She _moaned_ and as he curled the finger inside her, he saw her fingers try to grip the wall of the ‘fresher. He added a second finger and as he fingered her clit while moving his fingers inside her, he felt her walls clench around him as she reached her peak.

Despite having orgasmed once, Rey pushed back against him with frustration. “Need to feel _all_ of you. Can’t keep pretending.” Kylo groaned, and as her entered her from behind, Rey sighed with relief. Holding the wall with one hand and her hip with the other, Kylo begain to thrust, the slap of skin amplified by the fact that they were both sopping wet. Rey cried out as he began to move faster, and she reached back to pull his hand from her hip to her clit. He began to circle with his thumb as he thrust faster and faster, and she _whimpered _as he pressed harder with his thumb. “Fuck, Ben, _yes.”_

“Can I?” he panted, projecting an image of him finishing inside her.

“Yes,” she managed to reply with a sharp exhale, “I have an implant. There’s been no one else. No one but you.”

That was all the encouragement Kylo needed, and he gripped her hips tighter as he thrust into her one last time, their shared orgasm roaring through the bond. As they both recovered their breath, Kylo took a chance and wrapped his arms around her small body, trailing kisses down her neck as he did so.

“I know it seems like we’re on opposite sides right now. But believe me when I say I want that to change. Rey, I would do _anything _to be with you. I didn’t realize that when I asked you to join me after we defeated Snoke. But I know it now.”

Rey turned, tears glistening in her eyes as steam continued to rise around them. He nudged his feelings through the bond so that she could feel the truth in his words.

“Ben, I’ll help you. I can help you leave the First Order behind. I know that if I just explain to Leia that you’ve changed…” she trailed off, realizing that while she may be able to convince Leia, it was the rest of the Resistance that would present a problem. Feeling the bond start to dissipate, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, her lips setting his skin on fire.

“Wait for me, Rey.” he whispered as she disappeared. “This time, I’ll come to you.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a set of un-beta'd Reylo drabbles I've been writing for NaNoWriMo 2019. For now, I'm working on another WIP so I've marked this one as complete for now. I may or may not decide to add an epilogue depending on my level of motivation ;)


End file.
